3 Ways Moms Can Encourage Dads to Spiritually Lead the Family
In a culture where 68% of people surveyed said they were most influenced by the Christian model of their mothers; there are ways moms can encourage dads to spiritually lead the family.
Are you a mom who does most of the spiritual training in your home? In 2019, Barna conducted a Household of Faith study which reported: “It appears that spiritual development in the home is driven by mothers. Two-thirds (68%) say they were most influenced by the Christian model of their mothers, compared to less than half (46%) who point to their fathers. More than a third (37%) looks back further into their lineage, to the spiritual influence of their grandparents, usually a grandmother.”
Moms and grandmoms play an important role in the spiritual training of children. Even so, women long for their husbands to be the spiritual leaders of their families. But many men struggle in this area. Perhaps they are new Christians or did not have a role model when they were younger.
Whatever the reason, moms prefer not to take on the full responsibility of guiding their children in the spiritual disciplines of their faith. Studies also show that people tend to stay in church if their fathers attended church with them when they were growing up.
Family Life (a Cru Ministry) posted a helpful article on their website: “25 Ways to Spiritually Lead Your Family”. It’s a wonderful list.
However, there are lots of dads who did not have fathers who modeled strong spiritual leadership in their homes. Many men today come from families who left all of the spiritual training to the mothers–even when the fathers were Bible-believing, church-going Christians. And that was passed down from generation to generation.
Here are several ways women can encourage their husbands to spiritually lead their families.
Dub Dad as the Bedtime Chieftain
If you have young children, ask your husband if he’ll be in charge of reading one or two stories to the children each night. Buy or borrow age-appropriate books depicting truths from the Bible. Libraries carry them or you can request them to order a title for you. See the book selections under the book reviews tab on this website to get a few ideas. You can often find faith-based children’s books inexpensively at dollar stores, thrift stores, and yard sales. Just verify the content doesn’t contradict the Bible.
As your children’s attention spans grow, gradually move to Christian devotion books and children’s Bibles with easy to understand language. The earlier you start this bedtime tradition the better. The books will spur conversations about God and your children will treasure this special time with Dad.
A Few of Our Family’s Favorite Faith-Based Books
In addition to the Bible, my family has LOTS of favorite faith-based books! Here are a few I’ve reviewed here on the blog for you to consider:
Love Connects Us All by Michelle Medlock Adams
Our God is Bigger Than That by Michelle Medlock Adams and Eva Marie Everson
God is Always Good by Tama Fortner
God, I Feel Sad and God, I Feel Scared by Tama Fortner and Michelle Nietert
Love Well, My Precious One by Jill Roman Lord
The Bible Explorer Guide by Nancy I. Sanders
Love is Kind by Laura Sassi
Frog’s Rainy-Day Story by Michael James Dowling
Case for Grace for Kids by Lee Strobel and Jesse Florea
C.S. Lewis: Master Storyteller by Geoff and Janet Benge
Promote Popcorn Prayers
Perhaps your husband isn’t comfortable praying aloud. At meal times, why not suggest a popcorn prayer. This is a great way to involve the whole family. Each person will say one word or sentence. It may begin by each person thanking God for one thing.
After each member has “popped” up and prayed, you may want to initiate another topic such as asking for God’s help with a certain matter. Over time, family members grow more comfortable with talking to God and prayers flow more freely.
Mom Can Direct Kids to Dad’s Counsel
Family dynamics vary. Sometimes children seek out Mom more than Dad on things close to their hearts—whether it’s about fears and disappointments, or goals and admirations.
It’s an honor when children seek out and trust their moms with their deepest thoughts. It’s good to have those special times. However, these are also great opportunities for you to direct them to Dad’s godly counsel as well.
Mom, look for occasions when you can encourage your children to ask for Dad’s perspective. Even if you know an appropriate response, perhaps say something like, “I know you’re disappointed and how much this meant to you. Something similar happened to your dad once. Let’s go talk to him and see what he says.”
Or, counsel your child if the need is immediate but later share with your husband what took place. Suggest he talk with the child and vice versa. Provide opportunities for your husband to encourage and guide the children. Parenting is not a competition. There is no MVP (Most Valuable Parent) award. It’s a team effort!
Will Dad get it right every time? No. Like everything else, spiritual leadership improves with practice.
More Ways Moms Can Encourage Dads to Spiritually Lead
Staying rooted in God’s Word on a daily basis. is essential. Read the Bible on your own, but also carve out some time to read it together. Find a good book on Chrisitian parenting to read together. One suggestion might be Talking to Your Kids about Jesus by Natasha Crain or Raising Kids to Follow Christ by LeeAnn Mancini. The parenting books by James Dobson are also good. There are lots of good books out there, just search for those that align with God’s Word.
Also, make it a priority to engage with folks at church. There are people there in all stages of parenting and maturing in their faith who come alongside and encourage one another. No one is perfect, but love and grace abound. The bonds we build among believers are precious gifts to treasure.
One of the best things we can do for our husbands is to pray for and with them every day. Show patience, respect and appreciation as they learn from God. Let’s be our husbands’ biggest cheerleaders as they pursue God’s will and grow in their roles as the spiritual leaders of our homes.
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4, ESV).
Motivated by the power of story, history, and His Story, Sally Matheny’s passion is telling the next generation wondrous things.
Her nonfiction writing appears in worldwide, national, and regional publications including Appleseeds, Clubhouse Jr., Homeschooling Today, and The Old Schoolhouse.
She and her husband live in the foothills of the Blue Ridge Mountains and are blessed with three children, two sons-in-law, and armfuls of grandbabies. Connect with Sally on several social media sites, but her favorite hangouts are at SallyMatheny.com and Pinterest.
